I'm your typical grew-up-in-a-Christian-home-and-have-always-been-a-believer. I do not remember a "first conversion experience" but I do remember asking Jesus into my heart many times during my school years, just in case I hadn't been sincere the previous times. Then I suddenly started worrying that my numerous appeals for salvation had put me in the bad books because essentially I was telling God I didn't believe that He'd kept His promise to save me the first time I'd asked.
Fast forward to today. I am 31 years old and am both horrified and delighted to say that, for the first time in my life, I feel like my relationship with Christ is finally growing. (Horrified because given my history it shouldn't have taken 31 years, but delighted because I am finally learning to break free from lukewarm Christianity.) I believe that I was saved long ago, but had I been subject Judgment Day before now I would have been utterly ashamed at what little effort I'd put into knowing my Saviour. I somehow missed the connection between developing a personal relationship with God and spending time in His Word. After all, if everyone's Bible says the same thing how could that be a conduit for a PERSONAL relationship with Christ?
I have tried many times to keep up personal devotions long term but have always failed. I felt like I was missing some piece of motivation or the key to accessing God's help in my efforts. Recently I started repeatedly hearing a 'still small voice' that said I needed to sacrifice my time for God . . . to spend time reading the Bible. (If anything was going to shake me out of my apathy I would have thought a house-fire or having a less than 2lb baby would have done it . . . imagine my surprise at being spurred to action by much more subtle and ordinary hints.) A few weeks before Christmas I decided just to try spending 10 minutes a day with God and have been amazed at my thirst for more. I'm not sure what is different this time, but it's different. I'm excited to see what God has in store for me this year now that I finally know I can get a personal message from my Creator by reading a Book that applies to everyone. Go figure!
There are large portions of the Bible that I have never read and so my goal this year is to read every word of the Bible . . . and to STICK WITH IT!
Rebekah
4 comments:
Great job, Rebekah! I'm so excited that you're doing this with us this year! I look forward to many more discussions on the phone like we had last week. (Or was it the week before already?)
Until I read your testimony, I didn't realize you were Miriam's sister Rebekah - I thought you were a different Rebekah I know online! Too funny! :)
Thanks so much for sharing - so many of us who grew up in Christian homes can exactly relate to your testimony. Now, how do we break that cycle?!
That is exactly how I feel! Thanks for sharing!
Thanks for sharing your story. May this be the year we both read through the parts of the Bible we have never read before. :)
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