My eyes are on all their ways; they are not hidden from me, nor is their sin concealed from my eyes. Jeremiah 16:17
The heart is deceitful above all things and beyond cure. Who can understand it? Jeremiah 17:9
I think these verses are really important ones to keep in mind when parenting our children. It's so easy to reduce Christianity to a list of do's and don'ts. Christianity is not about rules, it's about relationship. But it's confusing, because we are also expected to live holy lives as a result of our love for God. It's a very fine line, which adults find confusing, nevermind kids. So how do we teach it to them?
Well, I certainly don't have all the answers, but I do think we can take some hints from these two verses.
First of all, everything originates from the heart. We need to capture our children's hearts. We need to instill in them a desire for God. If we can do that, everything else follows naturally, because when we desire God, we desire to please Him and will make the changes necessary in our lives in order to do so. And I think one of the biggest ways to do that is to model it for them. Let them catch us praying, reading the Bible, singing, talking about Him and what He has done for us. Be intentional!
In the very early years of parenting we do have to take a more rules oriented do/don't approach. It's very difficult for toddlers to understand heart issues. We first need to make sure they understand about authority and obedience and make sure that they understand the difference between right and wrong, and then as they are able, move into the "why" behind it all.
I think this is one reason it's important to "catch" them doing the right thing and doing the wrong thing - especially when they think we're not looking. I think this helps to teach them that even though we will not always see them (doing the wrong thing or doing the right thing), God does.
As they get older, we need to teach them to think through their actions and discover why they did them. What was the underlying heart issue and why is it wrong and how can we change it?
I think it's also important to teach our children (every time if we can) that when they mistreat others, they are also mistreating God. When they lie to their sister, that offends God. All sin is an offense to our holy God and they(we!) need to ask forgiveness of both the injured parties. And take every one of those opportunities to remind them of the gospel message. That we are all guilty of sin. How even if that was the only sin they ever committed, it would be enough to separate us from God forever. That there is no way we can ever be good enough to go to heaven. But that God loved us so much that He was willing to send His Son Jesus to die for us, to take the punishment we deserved, so that we could be forgiven and that we can be with Him forever.
I've been trying to do this more often, but I admit I often fail, because that's a pretty long process and it's so much easier to just punish. However, discipline and training is so much more effective!
Who knew you could get parenting tips from Jeremiah? ;)
Tomorrow's passage: Jeremiah 18-19, Colossians 3
1 comment:
Great reminder, Tammy, thanks.
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