Friday, July 2, 2010

Friday, July 2 ~ tammi



Well, there's really no way to summarize ANY four chapters in the book of Proverbs, so I'll just highlight some things that stood out for me.

I always like the wisdom-in-receiving-rebuke passages for some reason and there were several here. These two, in particular, stood out for me:

"Like an earring of gold or an ornament of fine gold is a wise man's rebuke to a listening ear." (25:12)

"He who rebukes a man will in the end gain more favor than he who has a flattering tongue." (28:23)

Notice how rebuke is only fine gold if the receiving ear is a LISTENING ear.

It's so hard to receive rebuke because a) humility doesn't come naturally, and b) we live in a society that virtually SCREAMS, "I decide what's right for ME, so YOU have no right to tell me I'm wrong!!" But the Bible clearly says we DO have the right ~ actually, the responsibility within the Body of Christ ~ to LOVINGLY rebuke and admonish each other so that we can grow in our faith and be positive contributions to the Church.

Another problem is the whole issue of GIVING the rebuke. Doing it lovingly is incredibly challenging because so often when we're in a position to give it, we might feel somewhat superior ("I don't have this problem, but I see you do.") and the rebuke then is condemning rather than loving. Or we might feel somewhat INferior ("Who am I to point this out? It's not like I'm perfect!") Interestingly, both types of feelings focus on ME rather than on what's right.

But so often we say nothing when we should because we're afraid the recipient will instantly spring to their defences, teeth bared, and bite right back. This is a natural self-preservation response, but as Christians, we need to stop ourselves BEFORE we counter-attack. Maybe there IS some credence to what the rebuker has said. We need to be willing to spend some time searching out the truth (not OUR version of it, but the way GOD sees it), seeking guidance from the Holy Spirit. Only then will we realize the other person may have actually right and be brought to a place of repentence. And only then will that relationship not suffer from the confrontation.

And if the accusation is truly false, the only way to lovingly restore that relationship is to find out more WHY the rebuker made the rebuke in the first place. Maybe our actions were misinterpreted. Maybe there's inconsistency in our words and actions. Maybe the rebuker only knows one side of the issue. The list of possibilities is probably endless. The point is, we could all be better at giving and receiving rebuke. And for the sake of The Church, we need to make a concentrated effort to improve ourselves in this area.

Another group of passages that caught my eye are all from chapter 29 and deal with discipline in child-rearing:

"The rod of correction imparts wisdom, but a child left to himself disgraces his mother." (v. 15)

"Discipline your son, and he will give you peace; he will bring delight to your soul." (v. 17)

"A man who loves wisdom brings joy to his father, but a companion of prostitutes squanders his wealth." (v. 3)

I purposely presented them out of order here because verse 3 is a look at what happens when verses 15 and 17 are either followed or ignored. And I don't think verse 3 means to say that companions of prostitutes are the only kind of men who don't bring joy to their fathers. I think Solomon's giving us a worst-case scenario while cautioning against a lifestyle of over-indulgence in ANY of our appetites.

It's SO important to discipline our children. And let's face it, we see far too many examples of parents who want more to be their child's friend than a parent. There IS a time for that, but while they are our responsibility ~ and especially while they are young and impressionable ~ first and foremost, we need to PARENT. Which means sometimes feeling like we're being ogres, but willful disobedience must be punished in a way that FEELS like punishment. There's no getting around it.

This past week at the school awards ceremony, I witnessed what looked like a perfect example of "a child left to himself disgracing his mother." A 12 or 13 year old boy, openly mocking and harrassing his teacher on stage as she tried to hand out the class awards.

I felt horrible for her and even though apparently much of the disrespect in her class is a result of her never have had control of her class from the beginning, I couldn't help feeling like turning that kid over my knee and spanking him right there on the spot. To me, it looked like his parents had NOT done their job. There is no stinkin' way my kids would ever get away with that! And maybe he caught it at home later, too; I don't know. In any case, I want to make sure my girls don't ever, in any way, think behaviour like that is acceptable. They're "a delight to my soul" now, but if I want them to continue this as they grow up, that means they will sometimes require punishment.

So many wise words here in Proverbs!! I kept thinking, especially as I read chapter 28, that if ONLY more of those kings of Judah and Israel had revered the teachings of Solomon, the course of history could have looked SO different!

Which made me think, what kind of history am I currently writing for my girls and their children and grandchildren?








Tomorrow's passages: Proverbs 30-31.

1 comment:

Tammy said...

Great thoughts here today Tammi!

So true that it's so difficult to both give a rebuke properly and receive a rebuke gracefully - and to learn from both!

Great thoughts on parenting vs friendship - couldn't agree more!