For those of you who don't know, I am Tammy's sister. Which obviously means that I was raised in a Christian home too. I have what some might call a 'boring' testimony, but that doesn't mean that I don't have a story to tell.
As Tammy made mention of, our dad passed away at a very young age. I was a baby of 9 months, and Tammy was 2 1/2. We now have a wonderful blended family, which also happened when we were very young, and I am truly blessed to have the family that I have. God can take anything and turn it into something beautiful. My family is living proof of that!
Growing up, I wasn't the rebellious type. In fact, I was what you would call a 'goody-two-shoes' and that suited me just fine. I never had the 'itch' to get into trouble, smoke, drink, do drugs, be promiscuous. I was perfectly content not causing any ruckus. That doesn't mean I thought I was perfect though -- far from it, of course! -- but it was nice to sail through my teenage years without too much fuss and drama.
In fact, it's just been within the last handful of years or so where I have really needed to rely on my faith to get me through life. After my 2nd daughter was born 4 years ago, I struggled with post-pardum depression. At first I thought it was something that would fade on its own...but finally when Malia was 2 1/2, I made the decision to go on anti-depressants. Yes, it took me that long! Just this past summer, after having gained close to 30 pounds since being on the drug for a year and a half, I made the decision to switch medications to see if that would help. It was a difficult decision, because other than the weight gain (which I can't totally blame on the drug, but it definitely played a big part in it), the meds were working great for me. But I decided to switch, nonetheless, and I went through the hardest, most darkest time of my life this past summer. Not only was the withdrawal brutal, but the new drug and my body did not mix well at all. It ended up making things far worse for me, and after 2 months I decided to go off of that one as well.
At first it was my intention to try yet another drug. However, I was scared of not only having to go through a second withdrawal, but worried about how the 3rd drug would affect me with its new side effects. And how many would I have to try and go off of before finding one that would truly work for me in every way? How many withdrawals and new side effects would I have to endure? I ended up deciding that after weaning myself off of the 2nd drug that I would try nothing. Just to see what happened.
It turns out, it was a good decision. I'm not 'cured' of my issues with depression, but I am learning to manage it on my own with faith in God. Not to say that I would've been able to handle it before if my faith had been stronger -- my faith is one thing that has never wavered, no matter what situation has come my way -- but I just feel like I am in a place right now where I can do it without the help of medication. Three years ago, I *needed* the meds -- and God was with me as I went down that road. He was also with me through the terrible summer. And He is with me now, as I am med-free.
I think this summer was a huge learning experience for me. That no matter what -- my faith will get me through anything. And I want to strengthen my faith by going on this journey with all of you in reading through the Bible front cover to cover. I read it when I attended Bible School right after high school -- but that's when it was an 'assignment', which makes it different to me. Now I am choosing to read it and to get as much out of it as I can.
4 comments:
Andrea- I too had post partum depression after my first child. I didn't go on drugs, but I would have had it been more severe. Maybe because I caught on to it early enough and was able to get counselling and prayer it helped? I do know that like you relying on God and my faith got me through. Thank you for sharing! God bless you!
Thanks for sharing a bit about your struggle with us, Andrea. My husband struggled with depression for several years and it was difficult for both of us. It took until he was almost unable to leave the house before he would accept that it wasn't going to just go away and he needed to go on medication. That was six years ago now, and he is now med-free for about 2 1/2 yrs and doing well. I can't really say I understand what you went through, but I've lived with someone going through it and I have a pretty good idea how difficult it can be each and every day. I'm so glad you're feeling better able to handle it and that you're taking this journey with us.
I'm so glad you decided to join us in this journey Andrea!
It's amazing how we all can relate to certain circumstances. I have a family history of depression. Both my grandma and my mom have been on meds all their life for it. My mom has an extreme bi-polar, manic depression that she's been treated for since she was 17. They tried Zoloft for me when I was a teenager, but I didn't like it and went off of it. I made it until after my 3rd child, and it took me until she was 9 months old to realize, I wasn't okay. I would go to bed happy and wake up crying...for no reason. I just felt like I couldn't do it, couldn't handle things. I know what you mean about going a long time before you realize it's something that's going to need treatment. My family doctor put me on something that was way too strong, then switched me to something else, and I worked great. I went off of it a few months later, due to something that's a whole nother story, and I've been okay since. No major problems after I had Addy. I too, still have days that are hard. But I try to handle them with prayer and grace until I feel better. God's been good!
I'm glad we all get to share this journey together!
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