Firstly, please forgive me for being late. First week for me! It won't be habit, I promise. :D
Here in Esther 5, we see her either trying to tell the king of Haman's plan and backing out, or trying to be pleasing, so she can be heard, or something else in her mind that we simply don't see.
Personally, I think she had to be shakin' in her boots. Or sandals.
I myself struggle with confrontation. Once, in my younger years, my husband (then boyfriend), brother and I went out to eat. I ordered a chicken dish, and when it arrived, the entire inside was RAW. So gross. And dangerous!
But rather than speak up about something that wasn't my fault, I was going to simply not eat it. Until my hubby noticed and spoke up for me. It was easier for me to just deal, then to speak up. Even over something that wasn't my fault and should be spoken up over!
I really was that against confrontation. I've gotten far more bold in my old age, but I still struggle with "rocking the boat".
My fears are naught compared with Esther. We are talking about a king who regularly kills people who appear without invitation. Can you imagine her trepidation? Her heart pounding, palms sweating, perhaps even tears springing up. I know I tend to get a bit teary when I'm really anxious. I can't help it.
But dude. No one would have killed me for speaking up about undercooked chicken! Yet, she dresses herself in her best and boldly walks into that throne room.
In a word, trust.
Esther, and the rest of the Jewish people, had God's promise that they were His chosen people. He had delivered them before. Although they had been in slavery, bondage, wandering in poverty, He had still made good on His word. Esther had two choices. Back down and ignore the problem, or trust and face it head on.
She chose trust. And although the word is silent on Esther's inner thoughts, her actions speak to her gathering her strength and trusting that if God is who He says He is, then He will not allow the Jews to be slaughtered.
In the coming chapters, we will see the fruits of Esther's trust and courage. In the optional readings in Genesis, we see the less than fresh fruit of Sarah's lack of trust (Gen 15-16). Despite God's word that she would bear Abraham a son, she chose the path of doing it her way.
In the end, trust is required. Trust is fundamental. It's simply a question of in what, or in whom, we place our trust.
See you next week!