Sidenote: I think it's kind of funny that we're reading 1 Chronicles and 1 Corinthians at the same time - anybody else occasionally getting confused? ;)
Reading our 1 Chronicles passage today reminded me of a comment I heard or read somewhere, I forget exactly where. Anyway, it had to do with husbands getting their wives interested in cheering for their favourite football team. The idea was, that if you want your wife to cheer for your team or a certain player you shouldn't tell her their stats, you should tell her something interesting about their life. For example - if you wanted her to cheer for Anthony Calvillo from the Montreal Allouettes (CFL team) you would tell her that he took a year off from playing professional football in order to care for his wife while she battled (and beat) cancer, and then he also had to battle cancer himself. Chances are, Anthony Calvillo and the Montreal Allouettes are your wife's new favourite player/team. Obviously, that's a stereotype, but in general, it's true. Women care about people, about their stories, especially sad but uplifting stories like the example above.
Now, how/why did I think of that while my eyes almost glazed over reading our 1 Chronicles passage? Because, my eyes were glazing over until I read...
Ezer and Elead were killed by the native-born men of Gath, when they went down to seize their livestock. Their father Ephraim mourned for them many days, and his relatives came to comfort him. Then he lay with his wife again, and she became pregnant and gave birth to a son. He named him Beriah, because there had been misfortune in his family. 1 Chronicles 7:20b-23
and suddenly I was interested again.
Guess the stereotype holds true for me! (And I also admit, that a part of me does cheer for Anthony Calvillo and the Allouettes exactly because of the aforementioned story - although not when my hometown Bombers are playing of course!)
I'm not really sure why that particular story was included and others left out. I'm sure every single name in these chapters has a story to tell that we would find interesting. But, obviously, the purpose of the genealogies isn't to entertain us. And even though we don't know any other details about the majority of these people, God does. He didn't forget them and He won't forget us either.
The genealogies, though not entertaining, do give us a glimpse of God at work through the generations from Adam onward (focusing on David's royal line in particular). As believers, these people are our spiritual ancestors too. Reading through them can and should be a reminder to ourselves to pass God's truth on to the next generation.
Moving on to our Corinthians passage.
This particular passage has always irritated me slightly, because it seemed to me that Paul was saying that he was more spiritual than the married folk around him because he was single, and that it was better to stay single than to get married.
So I turned to our good friend John MacArthur and he definitely enlightened this passage for me! His sermon, Reasons for Remaining Singled (Part 2), went into a lot more detail, of course, but the main gist of it was this.....
God designs some people for marriage and He designs some people for singleness. In fact, MacArthur refers to them as the gifts of marriage and singleness.
God absolutely intends for the majority of people to marry. Marriage is God-ordained and should be an absolutely wonderful experience. Paul is not taking anything away from marriage in this passage.
What he IS saying is that just as marriage is a wonderful gift, so too is singleness.
But most people do not look at singleness as a gift. Some view it as a trial or a punishment, while others simply see it as a waiting period they must endure until they eventually do marry.
Paul says no. Singleness is also a gift. It also seems to be the only gift that is optional. Paul says that those who God gifts with singleness should remain single, but if they choose to marry anyway, it is not a sin. But Paul encourages those who are gifted with singleness to choose to accept that gift.
But society, in general (and probably especially in the church) does not view singleness as a gift but instead views marriage as the natural way to live and that everyone should want to get married. So Paul points out some of the benefits to being single, some of the reasons for people gifted with singleness to choose to accept the gift.
This is not a slam against marriage. But the fact is, there are some cons to being married, and pros to being single. Obviously there are pros to marriage and cons to singleness, but everybody knows those already and that is not the issue. The issue is showing people that singleness sometimes is a gift, a design, a purpose directly from God and that there are at least 5 good reasons to accept the gift of singleness, if (and only if!) God has gifted you with it.
The first reason had more to do with the church at the time in that it would be easier for single people during the time of persecution that Paul could see coming. That's pretty obvious. To watch the persecution of your spouse and children would be extremely difficult. During times of persecution it would definitely be easier to be single.
The second benefit would be avoiding the human conflict that inevitably comes with marriage and children. When you have people with which you have intimate contact, there is always at least some friction. Sometimes more (in struggling marriages), sometimes less (in marriages that are the way God intended), but always something.
The third benefit is less attachment to a passing world. Marriage simply comes with more attachments to things that don't last - medical insurance, life insurance to provide for your children should you die, saving up for your kids education, a bigger house is needed for 5 people than for 1, etc. There simply is a concentration that marriage demands - it isn't wrong, it simply is, and it's something that you can avoid to a much greater degree, if you are single.
The fourth benefit is the potential for singlemindness when it comes to serving the Lord. Married people have a divided loyalty - the Lord first, then their spouse and children, but it's still divided. Single people have the potential (if they so choose!) to be more devoted to serving God than married people can. Married people can't (and shouldn't!) give the same singleminded devotion that single people can. Again, this does not mean that everybody should stay single so that they can be more devoted to God, this is one of the benefits of being single for those whom God has called to be single.
The last reason to accept the gift of singleness is the permanency of marriage. If you are called to be single, but are tempted to be married and decide to go that route instead, you are at liberty to do so, but you can't change your mind afterward. Marriage is till death do us part. You can't just "try it out".
So, basically, this passage was to encourage those whom God has designed to be single. They don't need to be married to be fulfilled, God has designed them especially to be fulfilled by Him alone in a different way than married people are fulfilled by Him.
God has designed marriage and if He has designed you for marriage than fulfill that desire, enjoy it and glorify Him in it.
If, on the other hand, He has designed you for singleness, you may either choose to marry anyway and fulfill that desire, enjoy it and glorify Him in it, or you may choose to accept the gift of singleness, enjoy it and glorify Him in it. But, though it is a choice, Paul recommends choosing the gift you were designed for.
God is glorified, not so much in your choice of marriage or singleness, but how you use that choice to glorify Him.
Tomorrow's passage: 1 Chronicles 10-12, 1 Corinthians 8
2 comments:
I think "singleness" is not often looked to as a gift and possibly most difficult in a church family because there are so many births and marriages that are announced and celebrated. It's a tough place for some to be because they don't see it as a gift.
Thank you, Tammy, I'd never really looked at it quite that way before - singleness being a gift. I know it didn't seem like one when I was single!
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